Louise Vocis Anima

RIZA PART 7 I’m not going to tell you everything we went through. But based on everything I’ve told you… It didn’t end well. And the hardest part? She still gave me chance after chance after chance. Imagine that. Someone most people would dream of having… kept choosing to stay with someone like me. A loser who was still trying to figure his life out. And somehow… I still couldn’t make it work. Eventually, everything exploded into one final, ugly fight. The kind of fight that makes you realize there’s nothing left to fix. So I left. And we ended it for good. Because by then, she was no longer seeing me . She was seeing the helplessness she once saw in her ex-husband. Every trigger. Every pattern. Every trauma response she spent years trying to heal from… She started seeing in me. And at the same time, I was slowly losing my own mental health too. I was so obsessed with trying to catch up to her — trying to become someone she could finally be proud of — that I never stopped to ask myself...

RIZA PART 6 It had been six months . And in all that time, we had never even gone out on a proper date. Not once. Not because she didn’t want to. But because I didn’t have a single peso in my pocket. All I could do was help around the house. Keep things clean. Do the chores. Make sure everything was in order while she was the one out there carrying the financial weight for both of us. And honestly? That crushed me. Because for six years , I had been the provider in my last relationship. I knew what it felt like to be the one giving. And now suddenly, I was on the other side of it. The one receiving. The one struggling. The one who couldn’t even take their girl out for something as simple as a cup of coffee. And the fucked up part is… That was all she ever wanted. She never asked for luxury. Never asked for expensive gifts. Never wanted grand gestures. She just wanted to be taken out. To feel like someone was trying for her, too. And you can say how messed up that was. How maybe I shoul...

RIZA PART 5 But then the real problem started showing itself. I still had no job. And before I knew it, the year had already turned to 2026 . She was starting to lose trust in me because no matter how hard I tried, I still couldn’t find something decent. By then, I had already been living with her for almost half a year, and I still couldn’t contribute anything. Not because I didn’t want to. But because even my own family was struggling too. And slowly, that reality started weighing on us. We fought more. There were breakups, then makeups. Breakups because she was exhausted. Makeups because some part of her still believed I could find my direction. And the truth is — She was never demanding. She never asked for luxury. She never expected me to suddenly match what she was earning. She even told me she’d be happy if I earned at least 20k , as long as it was clean money and it was mine — something I could build myself from. Something that would give me my own identity again. But that work...

RIZA PART 4 While I was still struggling to find a job, she was the one who looked after me — mentally, physically, and financially. Honestly, you could say I was probably one of the luckiest gays alive for everything she did for me. She gave me the kind of love and care I used to only wish for during my 6-year relationship. And she did all of it because she wanted me to learn to love myself again — but this time from a healthier, more positive perspective. She decorated my office and turned it into something warm and cozy. She would prepare late-night meals or make coffee for me while I sat for hours in front of my computer, endlessly sending resumes and applications. Not because I asked her to. But because she wanted me to feel appreciated for trying. She even took care of my physical appearance. I had gained weight from years of stress and emotional exhaustion, and instead of making me feel insecure about it, she introduced me to a medical treatment that could help with weight loss....

 RIZA PART 3 She met me while I was on sick leave because of heart complications. I was strongly advised not to go back to working onsite because it could seriously affect my health. So, like everyone else trying to survive, I was desperately looking for a work-from-home setup . That’s when she offered me her place. She was living alone, and she told me I could use one of her extra rooms as my office while I looked for work. At first, I honestly thought it would be easy. I came from years of call center experience, so I told myself it was only a matter of time before I’d land something. But time passed. Weeks turned into months. And before I knew it, almost five months had gone by since we met — and somewhere along the way, we became a relationship. And if I’m being real, that scared me. Because she was everything anyone could ever want. She was drop-dead gorgeous, smart, self-sufficient, emotionally aware, and knew exactly what she wanted in life. She was the kind of woman every ...

RIZA PART 2 I also want to be honest about one thing: I was never really a provider for her. And I knew that was one of her biggest red flags. Not because she was materialistic — far from it. It was because of what her ex-husband did to her. He manipulated her into giving and giving until there was almost nothing left. And when I say giving , all taken from her through years of manipulation. That kind of betrayal changes how a person sees love. It makes them terrified of being used again. And I knew that. That’s why it became one of our biggest arguments. Because despite everything, she still thought highly of me. Even if I only came from a call center background, she believed I had the potential to do bigger things. She saw something in me that, honestly, I was still struggling to see in myself. She kept telling me I was capable of more. She even offered to help me shift careers and join her in the VA world because she believed I could build something better for myself there. And mayb...

RIZA PART 1 I met someone who was already self-made and self-sufficient in life. Someone earning at least six digits a month, while I was still struggling just to survive. But beyond all that, she was carrying so much trauma. She had mental health struggles because of her ex-husband — someone who abused her mentally, physically, and financially for three years. She fought her way out of that. She got herself medicated. She attended therapy. She slowly rebuilt her self-worth from the ground up. And somewhere in the middle of rebuilding herself… She met me. At my lowest point, too. I had just come from a failed 6-year relationship where I was the provider the entire time, only to walk away with nothing but debts and regrets. I was still trying to put myself back together when she swiped right on me on a dating app. Honestly, I never thought it would turn into something serious. Her caliber of thought felt so advanced compared to mine. She was older than me by two years, already in law s...

  MEMENTO MORI All hopes are up to finish a shift that’s quite tiresome, but you don’t back down because you have something in mind. You still have to reply to a message you received about a reservation confirmation for Monday next week. You play it safe, careful not to make it too obvious it’s supposed to be a surprise. For the first time, you are genuinely excited about a plan. You know this could be the start of a big change. The Call Not until someone calls you from your Zoom app. The application is connected to your phone, so as it rings from your computer, it also notifies your phone. Hoping not to miss a single thing, she checks it only to find a missed interview from yesterday. All hell breaks loose. The Breaking Point That’s the start of a nightmare. When she thought you had been nothing but complacent and contented, you had actually been trying to win every interview, from what she knows. That’s the beginning of your final. You can’t help but look at the door, ...